As we write our own stories, are we truly being ourselves? Do we just hide behind a façade of glory, or is there actually more beneath it all?
I had a continuation of my interview with GoldenGratus following the recently concluded Philippine Game Dev Expo, and not only did I learn more about him, I even learned a bit more about myself. Before diving into his philosophies, though, I first got to know the Gratus who would become Golden.
Making sense of it all
While most game developer origin stories begin with growing up and wanting to make a game of their own, this one goes a bit further back for Paolo Villanueva aka the solo dev of GoldenGratus.
Unlike most game developers, GoldenGratus didn’t come from a tech-related background but from creative writing. Writing and game development are similar in their own ways. Both are creative outlets, though one is more technical than the other. An outlet was what Paolo needed to make sense of what had recently happened in his life.
Life had taken a sorrowful turn when his mother passed away due to colon cancer which was a lot to take in as a college student. Life feels too short, and reality gets blurry when emotions run high. Coping with them helps anyone move forward, and during his second year of college, when given the choice of focusing on fiction or non-fiction, he chose non-fiction as it helped him process reality and stay grounded.
Life goes on
Years passed, and life went on. Paolo, already an established writer, found himself at another crossroads but not in the way you’d expect. The pandemic struck, locking everyone in. Life was hard for everyone, and Paolo had goals he wanted to achieve. But like most things in life, they weren’t free. That’s when he had a moment of clarity: to take a leap of faith and try his hand at game development.
In his own words, it was a “dumb decision” in hindsight, because everything ground to a halt when lockdowns began. Needing an income, he decided to combine two of his passions (writing and gaming) which led him to believe he could be a game developer. The background was already there, and he even had game design theory in his back pocket from being a Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master.
From there, he just kept grinding, and here we are today. His identity paid tribute to his experiences and his mom. Golden came from memories of being a “Goldenboy” in high school, and Gratus means gratitude in Latin, which is close to his mother’s name, Grace.
Keep Rollin’
It’s been five years of rolling on and off, with countless hours of gaming and development. One theme is clear in the games that influenced GoldenGratus: to suffer is to enjoy, and the struggle adds to the experience. You’d think this is a joke, but coming from the guy who played ranked League of Legends, Apex Legends, and enjoys souls-likes enough to make them, it makes sense. The catharsis from beating an insurmountable challenge and going through it with a community adds to the whole experience.
Before talking about Memoirium, there has to be a discussion on GoldenGratus’ first foray into game development, Undying Lantern. While a bit unpolished to gamers comparing it to triple-A souls-likes, it’s a fun look into who GoldenGratus is as a gamer and the kind of experience he wants to impart: grindy, satisfying, and fun.
Fast forward a couple of years, and Memoirium (the game I actually interviewed him about at PGDX) is here. What impressed me most was the fact that this game is funded, or rather sponsored, by Among Us—more specifically, Outersloth, a fund made possible by Innersloth. If being funded by Among Us (and not being sus) wasn’t already an achievement, GoldenGratus is the only Southeast Asian game developer to be funded by them at all. If that wasn’t cool enough, apart from a mystery funder, Casey Yano of Slay the Spire fame is also backing Outersloth, showing how strong bonds between indie game developers can be across the world.
Feels just like a dream
Layer upon layer of prestige surrounds this game, and honestly, when I played it, it didn’t feel like it was made by a solo dev but by a full-fledged team. I’ve said it before, but the backstab animation was all I needed to see to be sold. Memoirium felt like a love letter to souls-likes and PS1 games of old, but it gets deeper once you step into its lucidity.
GoldenGratus didn’t just make a game. He made a world where you could reflect on your life. While it’s an entirely optional part of the game, the fact that you can process what’s happening in-game (and, by extension, in your life) is a nice touch. Here’s a writer sharing his joy and introspective moments through his chosen medium, and we get to take part in it.
The writing is in the lore and the storytelling through the gameplay, and in a way, it’s beautiful to think that gaming can help us learn about ourselves little by little. Life can be frustrating and even demoralizing, but it’s in these moments that we can get back up and start over.
Closing the book on things
Life isn’t always a dream, and struggle is part of it. But just because something is a struggle doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. In the case of GoldenGratus, he wanted to thank his brother for playing the Dungeons & Dragons versions of Memoirium’s story during development, as well as his cousins for being early playtesters. Art and music also played a key role in bringing the world of Memoirium to life, with Trina Ylanan creating the game’s cover art and all in-game music by Line In Productions.
Before we said our goodbyes for now, I asked GoldenGratus for some advice for aspiring game devs, and he left these nuggets of wisdom:
- Start small. Newer devs keep talking about big projects but never actually finish if there’s too much on their plate.
- Keep doing small projects and learn more so you can add to bigger projects down the line.
- Have discipline and work at a pace you’re comfortable with while getting tasks done.
Lastly, from developer David Wehle, who made The First Tree:
“When you’re working on a game, never have a 0% day.”
Even a 0.0001% day is still progress, and eventually it’ll all add up to 100%. Even if the progress isn’t linear, it’s still a step toward completion. It’s frustrating when you hit a wall, but making mistakes is still moving toward your goal. – GoldenGratus
For more updates on GoldenGratus or more information on his publisher Outersloth, check out the links below:
GoldenGratus Website and Blog: https://goldengratus.com/
Memoirium Steam Page: https://store.steampowered.com/app/3294440/Memoirium/
itch.io page: https://goldengratus.itch.io
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu8OFTa5dvA69VPuhNSXUBAOutersloth: https://www.innersloth.com/outersloth
