Do you still remember Friendster? That website with a friendly-looking smiley face as part of its logo?
How about the words, “Pa-testi naman!” where the term “testi” meant testimonial—a standout feature from Friendster where people could leave comments on your profile? Back then, people would provide comments about how beautiful, kind, or nice you were, and you’d do the same in return.
In 2002, before the birth of Facebook, Friendster was one of the earliest social networks to experience massive growth in the Philippines, connecting Filipinos to the rest of the world. It allowed people to create online profiles, connect with friends, share photos, and leave comments. We loved the site for its novelty and the opportunity to find people who shared our interests or to see who knew whom at the time.
If you think about it, that website spread good karma all around. If you left a positive testimonial for a friend—be it a lengthy one or just a few nice, flashy words—you’d surely receive one in return.
After two decades, giving out compliments to one another has become a thing of the past. The new norm nowadays? People airing out their complaints on social media—sometimes even to the extent of canceling celebrities, organizations, and public officials.
Just recently, Nadine Lustre received mixed reactions online when she became the brand ambassador for an online casino. While some criticized her and expressed disappointment over her decision to support online gambling, others argued that people should just leave her alone and respect her choice, as it is “just a job.”
A similar experience happened with Liza Soberano. When she decided to venture into the Hollywood scene, leaving behind the usual love-team approach to start anew, she faced massive backlash after speaking out about the toxicity of love teams in Philippine show business. Do you remember how a veteran talk show host labeled her ungrateful for the opportunities she had been given as a rising star? Almost everyone, if not all, echoed the same sentiment, prompting an apology from the actress. Despite the backlash, Liza successfully debuted in Hollywood as one of the supporting characters in the movie Lisa Frankenstein, where her performance was lauded.
If there’s one thing Filipinos love doing these days, it’s complaining, criticizing, and raging about other people’s lives rather than discussing real issues that could have a long-term impact. For instance, wasn’t there a district representative who faced massive criticism for providing cash aid to typhoon victims while riding a boat? Or what about the endless complaints regarding divorce due to religious beliefs, with little consideration for how others might feel? And then there’s the LGBTQ+ community, whose sole wish is to be treated equally, seeking the same benefits for their partners, only to face unrelenting criticism from self-proclaimed righteous individuals who cherry-pick Bible verses to suit their arguments.
Don’t get me wrong—I do believe that criticism and complaints can move mountains, especially when aimed at improving our lives. They can prompt individuals or groups to recognize their mistakes, hold themselves accountable, and ensure fair and just treatment is implemented. However, more often than not, these actions devolve into witch hunts against whoever happens to be the current target. These days, every month feels like there’s something to talk about—or cancel—so much so that you could make your own bingo card for it.
No one is safe from this—not even ordinary people. The only thing separating us from public figures is that, if you lack a significant following, you might get a free pass. After all, given our short attention spans lately, people eventually… just forget.
As the internet has progressed over the years, we’ve become too eager to air grievances on social media at the click of a button, often without thinking twice. Back then, we gave out testimonials on Friendster, complimenting and praising one another for a job well done or for being a good friend. The original purpose of social media platforms has been stripped away, and they now primarily serve as a gateway for complaints, criticisms, and cancel culture.
Perhaps this trend won’t fade anytime soon, given how angry the world seems to be, testing our patience every single day. But as someone who often steps back to breathe and touch grass in this digital age, I hope we can remember that it costs nothing to celebrate kindness and give compliments when they’re truly due.
And yes, it is possible to be both angry and kind.
